life

ever felt good about life??
like after a long period of chaos and no control when u finally begin to get in control of ur life....it feels great

i could have felt tht joy and sense of achievement but then again wat is all of that worth wen u dont want to lead ur life anymore?????

the closest ppl u have on this planet (i.e. mom and dad) start to think ur crazy and send u to a shrink cos they feel that you would be better if they paid someone to make you believe that u are bad

after an hour or so wid the shrink......i started to look down upon myself...
strangely i believed in things she said

honestly i dunno how much of tht is the truth or lies
but it made me feel so bitter and cold inside....

sleep has been something alien to me for the past few days...
having this nightmares where i see all kinds of violence, ppl killing ppl, blood, blood and more blood

am scared to sleep at night

i love my life
but its letting me go
its in my control for the first time ever in my life and now i dont wanna be in control
i dont wanna carry on living their dreams
this is my life
its either my way or hells highway

p.s.
thnx to all of my frnds who give me support to carry on in this stupid excuse of a life
love you guys

HIM....................

HIM

love metal

HIM is one of my favourite bands now
all of their songs manage to capture the pain and sorrow of a lover

the broken hearts
the torn letters
the broken promises
the cold evenings alone

Ville Valo , the lead guy, is a poet
He writes the most kick ass songs

here goes one of them
"Divided we stand in the light of a frozen sun
Cursing the gods we have become

We steal the fire from a sacred heart
And bleed the wine unholy
We fall in love with the serpent's song
And fear nothing

In the nightside of Eden
We're born again dead
Forever we are
Forever we've been
Forever we'll be crucified to a dream
In the nightside of Eden"

- In the Nightside of Eden

and something like this
"Loves the Funeral Of Hearts
and an ode for cruelty,
When angels cry blood
on flowers of evil in bloom,
The Funeral Of Hearts
and a plea for mercy,
when Love is a gun
separating me from you.

She was the sun shining upon
the tomb of your hopes and dreams so frail,
He was the moon painting you
with it's glow so vulnerable and pale.

Love's the Funeral Of Hearts
and an ode for cruelty,
When angels cry blood
on flowers of evil in bloom,
The Funeral Of Hearts
and a plea for mercy,
when Love is a gun
separating me from you.

She was the wind carrying in
all the troubles and fears
he for years tried to forget,
He was the fire
restless and wild and you were
like a moth to that flame.

The heretic seal beyond divine,
A prayer to a god who's deaf and blind,
The last riles for souls on fire,
three little words and a question: why?

Love's the Funeral Of Hearts
and an ode for cruelty,
When angels cry blood
on flowers of evil in bloom,
The Funeral Of Hearts
and a plea for mercy,
when Love is a gun
separating me from you.

The Funeral Of Hearts
and an ode for cruelty
When angels cry blood
on flowers of evil in bloom"

- The Funeral of Hearts

these songs are about loneliness and how someone who was in love, loves the feeling now...

pretty cool stuff eh?

Humans....The biggest Plague

Ever wondered why do we even exist on this planet.....

The planet let alone the whole Universe is so huge and we are nothing but some unwanted species of bacteria that live here to destroy and ravage this beautiful planet.......

we have been put here for a reason and that reason cannot be to destroy our mother Earth..........

Sometimes i just look at the sky and i try to understand how small we really are compared to it. Nothing more than a speck of dust.

We are playing a dangerous game........trying to change the laws of nature, torturing the planet, abusing all the real inhabitats of this planet (read:flora and fauna)...

our time is almost up....we're gonna burn in the pits of hell......and no ones gonna come and help us.........

i wish that this day comes real real soon.....
we had fun for a long time now.....we need to end it

i love animals since i was a child.....
somehow there innocence captured my heart....

i feel pity for the animals who get slaughtered by cruel humans............

i wanna kill all these ppl.....
am now a pure vegeterian..

and if u love animals in any ways i say turn vegeterian.......
killing animals for eating them or putting them on the walls or wearing them or using them as handbags is very very cruel.....

if i come to know anyone who kills even an insect am coming to get ya.....
be scared...be very scared...O_O

Death

death has to be the most beautiful thing that exists on earth.........because it comes to you only once............and no one can tell you how he felt when death struck him............
am looking fordward to meet this guy face to face.......................

but i knw this wont come soon...
and am pissed off

i wanna die and come back to tell all yu wonderful ppl how beautiful and refreshing death really is..........................


Living is just a waste of death.........

peace....