life

ever felt good about life??
like after a long period of chaos and no control when u finally begin to get in control of ur life....it feels great

i could have felt tht joy and sense of achievement but then again wat is all of that worth wen u dont want to lead ur life anymore?????

the closest ppl u have on this planet (i.e. mom and dad) start to think ur crazy and send u to a shrink cos they feel that you would be better if they paid someone to make you believe that u are bad

after an hour or so wid the shrink......i started to look down upon myself...
strangely i believed in things she said

honestly i dunno how much of tht is the truth or lies
but it made me feel so bitter and cold inside....

sleep has been something alien to me for the past few days...
having this nightmares where i see all kinds of violence, ppl killing ppl, blood, blood and more blood

am scared to sleep at night

i love my life
but its letting me go
its in my control for the first time ever in my life and now i dont wanna be in control
i dont wanna carry on living their dreams
this is my life
its either my way or hells highway

p.s.
thnx to all of my frnds who give me support to carry on in this stupid excuse of a life
love you guys